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October 27, 2011

Women have rooms inside of us men cannot fathom.
It’s where we store the depths of the hurt they’ve dealt us.
The deep passion we never want to lose.
Where we’ve tucked away all those cutting comments through the years, where we couldn’t react because we had company, where we shoved them down inside, swallowed the reactions and put them in the corner; pushing it all back down when it threatened to rise up; afraid, upset the tentative piece of string might snap and all the hurtful words he sent your way will tumble back out and hit him so hard he won’t comprehend the language you’re speaking is his own.
Women fold our stories inside ourselves.
We unwrap them when nobody is looking.
We carry former lovers, long lost inside our limbs. We feel their caresses, remember exactly how their tongues entwined with ours as our bodies melted, their eyes on ours as they entered us; even our cells remember the exquisite burn.
A woman never forgets, though she learns to love another. We wrap those memories away for safekeeping, even when those lovers hurt us so brutally our hearts tore and our tears never stopped. We have a room for that pain, a special key we hide and lock away.
Women grow, our hearts accommodating all the players in our lives.
She’ll allow some in. Some she must let go.
Women explore our rooms often, sometimes inadvertently. Her heart won’t allow her to ignore her secret places for long. Try as she might to suppress her desires, her unknown thoughts and even her fears will rise to guide her to different places, new rooms she never knew existed within her the whole time.
Embrace. Hold tightly while you dance. Jump.
Our rooms are buried so deeply, many times we don’t listen or can’t hear. We fall, search, drift, let go. We hold our breath, worry what others will think, lose ourselves.
Women have rooms inside us.

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  1. Just Another Day in Paradise permalink

    Amen, Sistah.

  2. Lovely. Somehow I wish the rooms would grow smaller over time and not hurt so much when you open the door. Maybe they do. Maybe they will. Still waiting.

  3. Very moving and accurate. Unfortunately, us men have garages and basements, neither of which are very well organized.

  4. I have a very large room lol! 

    Thanks Woman,

  5. Juliarachelbarrett permalink

    Beautiful.  I have an endless supply of rooms.  Not surprising that most women do.

  6. Amazing post, Rachel. I love it when you let us in passed the #snark. You are such a beautiful woman inside with a deep and sensitive spirit. You're also #snarckalicious and #hot, but that's a given 😉



  7. Thx so much, sweet Max. I in rewrite hell for Mancode: Exposed and sometimes, it's nice to get in touch with my female side. :)) xo

  8. Not at all. I love the whole concept of all these little stories inside us, just waiting to come out, or to be told. Thx Julia. 

  9. We have some rooms that are very large. I know. I can relate, babe. xxoo

  10. Thx Edward. Funny. That made me laugh. xo

  11. xxoo Amen is right.

  12. I have no answers, Sherry. Don't even wish I did. It's so individual. Even if we think we've moved on, do we really? It's all still there…xxoo

  13. Wonderful post Rachel, you show women for what they are mysterious creatures who are mult-dimensional rather that one dimensional as portrayed by the media. Thanks for writing this and letting us see your other sides. 

    Much love,


  14. “he won’t comprehend the language you’re speaking is his own.”So true. My husband doesn't understand a word I say when I get angry with him. He says the scariest thing about me when I'm angry is that I don't swear, I just use really big words.

  15. Erica Lucke Dean permalink

    There goes that life threatening PMS again. I think I might cry! You're so right about that secret room. I think I might live in there most of the time.  If only I could have company come over…maybe redecorate just a little.  Get a mini fridge.  I wouldn't even want to leave.

  16. And if I share my secret stash of chocolate, it's all over. 🙂 xxoo

  17. This is such a beautiful post Rachel. This resonates so strongly with me, you  articulate very well the way we deal with these “stuff.

  18. sometimes it's hard to get out of those rooms.

  19. Thx so much Moira. I write so much about men. It felt good to shed the dude hat and feel my own stories, my own true self. I'm so glad you could relate. I appreciate the feedback, luv. 

  20. Absolutely. Though sometimes we need to dwell in those rooms to learn where we need to go. xo

  21. thedoyle6 permalink

    Rachel? When were you inside of me? That's scary really, how well you've articulated what I feel. I have a poem about my secret room! Thanks for posting this, it is beautiful, deep and oh so true. *Wipes eyes with tissue*

  22. A beautiful post.

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