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GETTING OFF…TOPIC (guest post)

October 24, 2011

Guest Maxwell Cynn takes over my blog today — get ready for an awesome, sexy ride from an amazing author and all around sexy dude. And may I mention, uber supportive guy. 


When Rachel offered me the chance to guest blog I jumped in it. I think she’d enjoyed one too many dirty martinis at the time and I knew I needed to pin her down before she sobered up and changed her mind. Then she told me her main divisions (or did she say diversions) were Dating, Marriage, and Sex. I thought the order was interesting. These days it’s more often – Dating, Sex, then Marriage. Or Sex, maybe a date, and forget about marriage. But I digress. I do that a lot. My wife and kids say I ramble.
The choice was a no-brainer. SEX, right?. Come on, I’m a guy. Rachel knew the answer before she gave me the choice, being the Mistress of #mancode that she is. All that men think about is sex, and food, and where the hell is that remote. Bring me a beer, honey! Have you seen my…. Sorry. What were we talking about? Oh yeah, SEX. That beautiful three letter word that holds the universe in balance, tames the savage beast, and prompts men to buy expensive jewelry.
I’ve been married 26 years. Yes, to the same woman. So I’ve figured a few things out concerning the fairer sex. Women think about sex as much, if not more than men do. That’s right, I said it. You can hide behind #chickspeak, but we know you want it. After all, who buys all those romance novels, literary erotica, and sex toys? Women. And we know you talk about it when we’re not around. Some of you do it when we’re not around. But I’m getting off topic again.
Sex is the strongest primordial drive of the human psyche, ask Freud. We will starve ourselves to be more attractive – for sex. We will gladly suffer pain and abuse – for sex. Do you really wear those size-too-small spiked heels because they are soo comfy? Women’s clothes aren’t designed to cover their modesty, they are designed to accentuate your naughty bits. Let’s be honest. You can say men, and a sexist society, force you to dress uncomfortably and starve yourself to be thin, but who buys those clothes and fad diet books? And how do we force you? By saying you look damn hot! But we’d say that if you were comfortably naked.
Yet men are also the prisoners to their libido. We just show it in different ways – like drooling and not making eye contact when you wear that really low-cut blouse or go bra-less under that clingy cotton top. If there were no women in the world, man would find a nice cave with one of those underground streams full of blind fish and never leave. But man needs his precious, don’t we. And she wants Prada and jewelry and air conditioning – so we leave the comfy cave and go to work. And why? Other than needing to pay the cable bill so we don’t miss the game, and of course buy beer. We work, buy nice homes, live short stressful lives filled with heart disease, all for SEX.
Now you may say I’m carrying the idea of sex as the driving force in the universe to extremes. Not so. Look at one segment of our lives that is all the rage now – social networking. In my first novel CybrGrrl, I used sex as the catalyst for the development of artificial intelligence. I didn’t just make that up. The internet as we know it was developed and built by the adult entertainment industry. Games, gambling, and sex are the reasons we have social networks.
Sure, the government, academia, and Al Gore built the infrastructure and the idea of file sharing, but porn sites developed security, graphics capability, video streaming, eCommerce, and the very first “social networks” were dating sites (code for how-to-find-a-hooker-without-leaving-your-home). The development of cyberspace was dependent on cybersex. That’s nothing new. Society has always depended on naughtiness to spur innovation. Why? Because nothing sparks the human imagination like our mutual desire to get off.
I used the same premise in THE COLLECTIVE, my newest release. The Nemesis virus, which effects your brain once it controls your computer, propagates first through porn sites, then across social networks. There are a few erotic scenes as well, but that’s another subject. The point I was making is our society and culture is based on our desire for sex and our attempts to deny that desire.
In this I think men are more honest than women. We know what drives us and aren’t ashamed to admit it. Sure we are crass and even rude at times, but we’re honest. And I’ve heard women talk when they didn’t think men were around. You girls can make a sailor blush. But I like that. Some men are intimidated by a woman who says what she thinks and isn’t shy about her sexuality. Others are turned on by it. But insecure men don’t last long around The Mistress of Snark.
Thanks for letting me hang out, Rachel. You know how I like putting it out there for the titillation of my audience. #mancode
I’d love to hear from you lovely readers. Post a comment below and maybe Rachel will let me come again. If you include your email address I’ll send you some cyber-swag from the release of THE COLLECTIVE. And the first poster to mention my allusion to The Hobbit gets a free copy of THE COLLECTIVE. I’ll even throw in a code to download CybrGrrl free from Smashwords to the first poster to say how many times I used the word sex in my post.
Maxwell Cynn writes deliciously romantic speculative fiction. His first novel CybrGrrl has been called multi-orgasmic by more than one reader and follows the development of a female artificial intelligence program from sexy chat-bot to CEO of a multi-national corporation. His newest release THE COLLECTIVE is fresh off the electronic press and follows a psychologist’s battle against a virus which threatens to brainwash the masses over the internet.

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20 Comments
  1. Seriously Max, could you BE any more adorable if you tried? I think I counted the word “sex” 65 times in your post (just kidding), but I'm probably not far off.

    Ah, it's nice to know a man who knows Freud. I didn't always agree with his teachings, and his relevance has certainly waned over the years, but there is an incredible amount of truth behind his words  — sex is the driving force for many of our actions, whether we know it at a conscious level or not.

    I think you know I loved The Collective, being a psych nut(job)…and I agree that women can be much cruder than men.

    Strong men and women can say what they want without cushioning it, and they are the writers I admire the most.

    eden

  2. …but the man needs his precious doesn't he…caught “The Hobbit” reference right off the bat. There is no way I can count all of the times you used the word sex in your post but you were very good at “sliding” it in there. I just dropped in to say “Howdy,” I collected swag and books at the Blog Tour de Force which was awesome to say the least. 

    Thanks for a great guest post Max!

    Cheers,

    Ardee-ann

  3. Thx for the visit Ardee-ann. Did you figure out yet who was whom on the tour? It was fun. 

    & yes, great Hobbit refs in here. That Max is a smart guy isn't he? 

    xo

  4. Thx for stopping by, Eden. I also love reading what strong men and women have to say. Why I love your work and Max's also. Fierce, baby. 

  5. Kenla Lord permalink

    Great post…i would say it was more like '69' times eden.

  6. Thanks Eden. I'm more in sync with Jung than Freud, but all psychology has always enthralled me. We have to understand ourselves to understand our characters.

  7. Thanks for stopping by Ardee. The Masquerade was a blast! I dropped a few Tolkien hints in there too, since I quote him a lot. 😉

    Hope you enjoy The Collective.

  8. I totally should have used it 69 times. #handhead

  9. Ardee found my precious reference in the post – but already has the books and  swag from the Masquerade Tour last week. What to do…

    Next poster to give me the character and scene from the Hobbit / Lord of the Rings I alluded to in my post and I'll send you a code for a copy of The Collective.

    Don't forget your email address so I can send you swag (wallpapers based on The Collective)

  10. Kim Mullican permalink

    Spot on!  Women are naughtier – and we can be a bit coy about it as well.  Great post!

  11. Yes!! A woman that's not afraid to admit it. Women are definitely naughtier than men. Men are just more obvious about it. (brutish perhaps, but honest)

  12. Suzanne Payne permalink

    Great post Max! yeah…69 was definitely your magic number. You'll have to write 69 sex scenes in your next book..lol 😉

  13. Man I got the other reference the first time I read it…people. Tsk tsk. & I'm not even a LOTR freak. I mean, fan. (Relax, ya freaks.)

    Great post, darling. Come back, anytime. 

    Oh this is too fun…

  14. Jennifer permalink

    Great post, Max.
    And I agree with Kim, below: we are naughtier. 😉

  15. Thanks Jennifer xoxox

  16. Sandra Bunino permalink

    Loved your post Max! Yes, I have to agree, women do think about sex as much, if not more than you guys (we just hide it WAY better). Will check out your books~they sound saucy!

  17. Thanks Sandra. If you like saucy, you'll love CybrGrrl.

  18. Juliarachelbarrett permalink

    Women can be a little more subtle, as in – you might never know what comes out of our mouths in private.

  19. Your blog brings up an interesting topic, Max! I completely agree with your standpoint. Men are biologically created to procreate. Whther they've met a girl in a dating site like Plentyoffish.com or through a common friend, they couldn't help but imagine how these women are under the sheets.

  20. Your novels sound mysteriously interesting. I must get my hands on one! You make a valid argument, solidified by the popularity of sites like alt com, Match, and POF. It's nice to hear the male perspective on the why of life.

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