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May 26, 2011

He’s Just Not That Into You

Is a bunch of insulting bullshit.

I finally watched that movie the other day. Wow.

I’m sorry, feminism.

According to the movie (I’ve avoided the book He’s Just Not That Into You, based on an episode of Sex in The City, so my ire is based solely on the flick), women are dumb ninnies who have no lives other than men.

Let’s deconstruct.

We women pine for men. We have no hobbies, interests, jobs where we actually work, or apparently even a computer or TV—the only thing a woman is capable of watching is her pink phone (groan), waiting for a man to call. The only topic chicks are smart about is listening to men, talk about men.

Because we have no other information source.

Also, women are desperate. We’re obsessed with men’s nonverbals, even if we’ve just met them. Wondering if they’re going to call is all we think or talk about with our girlfriends when we go out for girl’s night out. Oh, unless we’re wondering if they’re going to text or email (how could I have forgotten that?) My bad.

Those of us who are married are snipey, suspicious harpies (granted, the character seemed to have good reason given that her husband cheated with a slightly airy young singer/actress/yoga teacher blonde, but that’s beside the point). Which is such a reflection of how all wives act. Unless we’re being incredibly stupid, that is. And we wear little to no makeup and have no sex appeal whatsoever. Or lingerie. (Though we do read lots of home decorating magazines and drink lots of steaming mugs of hot tea in attractive turtlenecks that do nothing at all for our figures.)

And then there is the living-in-sin couple – who seem perfectly happy hanging pictures in their perfect apartment until one of the desperate coworkers cites a report that live-ins never marry. So she loses it, becomes a bitter harpy too, and breaks up with him. Til he magically sees the error of his ways and crawls back, ring in hand. Fairytale ending.

Also, men are always in charge of the relationships, not women. Even the chick who’s the mistress has no say in anything. She’s just a golddigger without a brain anyway. Who ends up alone and lonely (perhaps she’ll meet someone in India, where she decides to go to find herself at the end of the movie. No one saw that coming.) Is it any surprise that she’s buxom and blonde? Oh, and likes to be naked as much as possible? And has lots of lingerie?

Mostly I kept thinking hey, that’s the kid from Dodgeball (which was a far, far better movie by the way, and had stronger—and hotter–female role models) and was happy to see Kris Kristofferson is still alive–though I kept wondering how he ended up in this drivel.

It’s so great to see females portrayed as having come such a long way, baby. Particularly when it’s produced by Drew Barrymore’s production company, a chick who should know better. #boohiss

As for how the men were portrayed, I’d say they were an awfully chatty bunch who seemed to be really in touch with their emotions. I’d love if that were true. Most guys I know tend not to be so open with their feelings. They can be, but well, it’s just not like it is in the movies…imagine that.

Apparently, if you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball….but you can’t dodge this freakin’ movie. Ack.

I’d love to hear your opinion. It’s possible I’ve missed the point entirely. I felt sad that what seemed a terrific premise with a great cast was reduced to trite clichés. Please enlighten me.

Please leave a comment here, on Twitter, or Facebook. RTs and mentions loved.

Please also purchase my eBook A Walk In The Snark, available on Amazon for only $2.99 (no Kindle required). I was recently featured in the Huffington Post Book section by Sean Gardner aka @2morrowKnight.

You can also read my Addicted Love series on @Lifarre, the new network for women.

Be sure to come back on Saturday for my post for Blog Tour de Troops — lots of great stuff happening! Check out this site for deets:

  1. What could have possessed you to see this? I enjoy good chick flicks, but this one I never considered.  With a review like this, glad I saved a few bucks. Oh, and your #boohiss Drew is a smart cookie – $40mil budget, $178mil worldwide sales.

  2. There's no question she had a top-notch cast, great location, etc. All the right stuff for a hit film. I really like the stars of the film. As a writer, and a woman, however, was just disappointed w/ the tone of the finished product. The overall reviews worldwide were 2 our of 5 stars so it wasn't just me 🙂 Strictly from a woman in business standpoint, I'm glad it was a success for her.

  3. Andrea permalink

    Well unlike you, I haven't watched the film but read the book. (I didn't think it could be a good movie and probably it isn't…) But I loved the book and it's got a similar concept.
    The thing is there are some of us who go through a phase like that when we don't think clearly, and when we all but hang on men. It doesn't happen to everyone, and even if it does, it's not all the time. (I mean economy would suffer if we all stopped working etc even in those periods.)
    But these are the times when friends are too gentle and/or involved in our story to actually kick our butt, which the book does wonderfully by comparing us to stereotypes we really don't want to be compared to.
    It has helped me and I've given it to some friends, too, just to say: Get rid of him finally, he doesn't deserve you 🙂 it's just got more authority when a book says it lol

  4. I'm with you on this one Rachel. The movie sucked! [and deserves the exclamation point.] And by the way I liked Sex and the City show but thought the movies were as nutty as the one you just reviewed. However I did enjoy the tribute to menopause in the second movie. And why did the PR chick always get portrayed as a 'loose lady?” I for one applauded her gutsiness for going after what she wanted and honoring her girlfriends as the ones to depend on having her back. But I digress.
    I really hate that cable reruns He's Just Not That Into You every other week. I would rather watch a good Kate Hepburn movie.

  5. Amberlinaann permalink

    I was so looking forward to that movie too! I can't believe it turned out making women so pathetic. I do know some women that way but I hope most women are beyond that. I think maybe the original point of the movie was to show how some women acted pitifully when around men and to take a stand. However, I think it got lost in the pathetic drivel portrayed in this movie. So no you were not alone at all. This movie sucked.
    Can't wait to post tomorrow to support the troops!

  6. shayne permalink

    Love the free book giveaway! And as a veteran I thank you for thinking of the military!!

  7. Hey Rachel,

    Anything you'd like me to add about you or A Walk in the Snark on my blog as a lead in for tomorrow?

    I actually thought this movie might not be too bad for a chick flick.  Thanks for the warning.  The worst looking chick flick of all time judging by the trailer was that movie Valentine's Day.  I remember seeing the trailer with my wife and turning to her in the middle of it and saying, “the only thing that could make this movie worse would be if Ashton Kutcher was in it.”  Five seconds later guess who showed up?

  8. You are SO welcome, Shayne (one of my all-time fave names BTW). Come back tomorrow (SAT) w/ your email so I can send you the book's coupon code, ok? xo

  9. Funny, Roy about Valentine's Day (which I'll skip, thx). Give me a great sci-fi flick anytime.

    Anything you want to write about me being a goddess or … kidding. I loved what you wrote. I just finishd up my post and will put up later tonight. You blog post is getting lots of great action. Are you on Twitter or Facebook? We can promote you there also, babes. xo

  10. Krissie permalink

    Thanks so much for this offer and for your support of our troops. More power.

  11. Lorca Damon permalink

    Nope, you didn't miss the point. You totally stuck that landing. I don't even fault the writers…we're the idiots who want to see this kind of dynamic played out in Technicolor! But movies about a woman who works full time, raises an autistic child, writes a daily article for a magazine in the evenings, interviewed the Governor's press secretary on her lunch break, and still had a nutritious meal on the table aren't appealing because my reality isn't funny? Vapid women staring at telephones is supposed to be a fantasy-world escape, I guess?

  12. Great post! At book club a few years back, one of the members who had just broken up commented on wanting to read the book. I thought “eeeeew”.

    Middle school mentality with the obsession on Boys.

  13. Great post! At book club a few years back, one of the members who had just broken up commented on wanting to read the book. I thought “eeeeew”.

    Middle school mentality with the obsession on Boys.

  14. Krissie permalink

    Thank you for the support of the military. I would love to read your book. More power to you.

  15. J.J. permalink

    I saw the movie and wasn't impressed. Especially during the scene in the man's office where the 'girlfriend' (and I use that term loosely) is in the closet while he has sex with his wife…and the g/f gets mad! Hello! You're knowingly having an affair with a MARRIED man and he's having sex with his wife. Of course, he's a pig but what can you do? lol!

  16. I enjoyed the movie, only because I think too often women do do that thing where we justify a guy not calling, or treating us like crap. I think that part is spot on. If a guy is into you, he lets you know.

    However, I think you are spot on when you talk about the neediness that is a part of every female character in the movie. It was on one of the movie channels last night, and the synopsis starts with “…a needy woman…” which doesn't do any of us any good.

    Unfortunately, I do think we all know someone who is that pathetic when it comes to relating to men, and maybe in our younger years some of us were guilty of it ourselves.

    I guess my point is I think there are mixed messages in the movie. And some are more valid than others.

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