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March 15, 2011



He’s afraid to tell her the truth. That he’s not who he says he is. That he has no job. No money. That he lost his beloved truck. His young son. Most of his friends won’t put up with him anymore.

That he sits in his sister’s house drinking his days away. That his life exists online, talking to his friends all day waiting waiting waiting to see that she’s jumped on so he can talk with her, even if it’s just for a tiny moment. That he should never have let her go. That he should have fought for her.

He’s afraid to tell her that she’ll think he’s the loser he knows he already is. That he’s tried to end his life. Twice. That he can’t do this anymore. That he aches for her. That he was a jerk. That cheating on her was by far the dumbest thing he’s ever done. That it changed the course of his life, her life; that he’s afraid it has put him in this box he’s not ever going to escape from that is filled so high with his pile of regrets he has no room to breathe.

If he wasn’t so afraid he would never have done any of those things. He would have been the man she wanted him to be. He would have continued to hold her close, stroke her hair, look into her eyes that could stop a band just by walking into a club and see the man she saw in him. Been the man she reached for. Held her heart in the palm of his hand as she still holds his.

As she will always hold his.

He needs to be free, to climb out of the box the only way he knows how.

And be gone.

If you read my eBook, A Walk In The Snark, (or previous posts even) then you know who I’m talking about here. I willl never understand where his head was, but I can try to craft together pieces from notes, memories, conversations, and of course, my imagination.
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Comments, mentions and retweets always loved and welcomed. Thanks for reading.

  1. Fear, such a treacherous bed fellow! How much of what we do or not, think and feel is governed by that which we fear…? To live unburdened by fear, what freedom. Your piece captured this sentiment in a lovely way. Nicely done.

  2. Yikes. I have that same fear.

  3. wendryn permalink

    Impressive writing. There were so many ways to go with this prompt, and you did a great job getting into his head.

  4. Fear. Ah, this prompt is very similar to the challenge I was given this week! I love how you responded and am quite moved by your response. Really well done.

  5. I agree with Wendryn. You communicated his point of view very powerfully.

  6. Fear and regret are lethal, to say the least. You definitely excelled at illustrating their ability to destroy someone here. Great job.

  7. I don't know. I didn't know. I wish I'd known. None of that matters now.

    I'm past so much of that initial shock — a year or so will do that — I find myself wondering how he thought that was his only way out.

    Fear is all I can come up with.

  8. I know what it's like to be on both sides of this equation. My fear of silence almost kept me from having a life. Yeah, I'm deaf so you can imagine.

    Fear like that has a hold like we can't imagine.

    Well done dear friend. (Hugs)Indigo

  9. anthropoet permalink

    Wow–very well written and emotionally engaging! Fear can be so harmful and you have written (quite wonderfully) how it can lead to a path of destruction.

  10. ugh, ouch. Heartbreaking, that one decision can change a course of a life so thoroughly.

    This would be great to link up on the TRDC prompt for detour too.

  11. Ok, you got me. Not that I need ot know who it was, but that snippet was intriguiing enough for me to get the book.

    the life of fear is so interesting, and how you captured it is so on par… how it drives you into the very thing it claims to save you from. Stupid fear… Stupid me for giving into it…


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