Skip to content

MAYBE, BABY (A #Mancode Post)

March 7, 2011

It’s true. I make up words.

Mancode words.

Surely you remember Manesia. Who could forget Refrigeratoritis?

And now…MABY.

This one has been brewing for awhile now. It’s what happens your manly man, he who hammers, nails, plumbs, heave-hos, grunts, and flexes in the face of adversity, becomes a whining little baby when his widdle bitty throat hurts.

Ergo, MAN + BABY = MABY.

I have a MABY in my home as we speak. I’m not making fun (okay, maybe a little). He’s sitting on the sofa, wrapped in his favorite cozy soft blankey, wearing a decades-old turtleneck (his home remedy), drinking gobs of tea with honey and lemon, something I, of course, advocate. What I don’t appreciate are the calls for me to make him more, more, more (cause, what? his legs are broken?), or the fact that I’ve also got two actual real-life children to care for, as well as a deadline to meet.

My pleas for “Could you heat up a slice for the five-year-old while you’re in there?” go unheeded because apparently, hands attached to the sore throat don’t work for anything other than tea-making when the MABY is sick.

I understand. I do. I’m not that much of a bitch.

But here’s THE THING.

My throat hurts, too. But do moms get to be MABYS? (or would that be MABIES? Let me check with The Imaginary Word Committee…just a sec…MABIES it is.)

Ahem. Do moms get to be MABIES?

No. Moms still have to take care of everyone when we’re sick. It’s just kind of the way it is.

I know my guy isn’t being a selfish jerkface. He’s simply doing what all guys do—turning inward, focusing on the singular task at hand—getting better so he can go back to making mo money mo money mo money. Men don’t give a thought to the family as a whole when they are sick – I’ve lived with enough men to know this to be true (boyfriends, dad, roommates, friends). It’s not that my guy isn’t loving and generous, because he is. He’s just sick and being a big um, MABY.

Every woman I know has been begging me to write this article and I’ve always declined. Why? I figure I’m going to piss off a few men out there who will tell me I’m high, they’re just wonderful to everyone when they’re sick; they even make delicious homemade cookies and embroider tea cozies when they have the sniffles, blah blah blah. Ok, fine. This essay is not about you, so hush. Clearly, I don’t know you.

So could you please come over? I’m too tired to make cookies and I’m fresh out of tea cozies.

And while you’re here, could you make me some tea?

That’d be great. Thanks.

You should follow Rachel here so you don’t miss a single snarkalicious post, on Twitter, Facebook, over at the IndieBookIBC where she teaches writers social media and stuff.

Support her growing tea cozy habit by purchasing her eBook A WALK IN THE SNARK on Amazon for only $2.99.

Funny, poignant, 5/5 star reviews. Go on. You don’t even need a Kindle (you knew that right? Even Rachel’s five-year-old little boy knows that. Come on, people.)

From → Uncategorized

  1. Streetlights94 permalink

    Why yes, you'd be amazed at what my husband has craved so far during “our” pregnancy. While I have craved crab legs, he has craved… Manwich. Because that is all he is able to cook for himself and our son. You know, because I'm on bed rest. I'm throwing up over spidey sense smells, and he's making Manwich.

    And then he gets “a little queasy” and has to lay down for a while.

    That's my Maby while I'm pregnant with a real baby.

  2. i concur. really. and Im glad you wrote about it. i could write for an hour about the bitterness I have about this subject as a mom of four!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: