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Men Deconstructed — Contest Winners, Baby

January 10, 2011

If you recall, I posted a contest on my site last week where I invited anyone who was brave enough to take on the pile of words that came out of the anagram of these three little words: THE MALE EGO.

To recap the rules of the contest, folks had to choose a minimum of ten words from the male ego pile, make their story a max of 100 words, spin their tale around a guy (der), follow my blog, be witty/funny/interesting, and know how the heck to spell correctly.

I don’t ask for much.

I’m happy to report that I received a number of creative entries, several which made me laugh out loud, others which were enormously clever. Please go follow these people on Twitter. They rock.

Thanks to all my participants and here’s your fame, glory, whatever (in no particular order):

1) @HeidiDavid

His shrink said the Star Wars Lego fetish was caused by a fracture between his id and his ego resulting in aberrant behavior, or some lame shit like that. His gal Lisa insisted a male his age should get a respectable hobby. “Go sing alto in church,” she’d said, “hit a hole in one, play a card game, maybe cook a meal every once in a while, anything but Lego.” Soon, she would hate him, just like Susan, who spilled bleach on his Sims hat and Tanya, who destroyed his Eagle One PlayStation video. Fucking women, who could understand them?

(the, Lego, ego, lame, gal, male, age, get, alto, hole, game, meal, hate, hat, eagle, them)

2) @the_empty_city (Berit Ellingsen)

His ego thought it was an eagle, but it was really an eel.

They went to Hotel Bedlam to ogle gals, math cards, eat meat and mate,

if luck – that hag, didn’t lag. Anything to not be the omega male at

the bottom of the team.

The room’s bedstand had, instead of the usual log, a hateful age-old

tome of moleskin. It made the ego rush into a gale. With melted metal,

the ego used the tome to open a gate to – .

Omega tried to push ego into the mega hole. But ego held onto his leg.

“Ah! Look behind you! An eagle hoe!” Omega called. The ego le’go and

fell head over heels. Omega was hale.

“What a lame game,” Omega concluded. It was late. Best to go home and

have some ale.

3) @TreyKauffman

Oh Rachel,

I don’t know you, nor you me, so imagine my surprise when I stumbled upon this cutesy little website of yours in which your latest musing was dedicated to the likes of me.

Now typically I’d hate on a hag who comes off as feminist, self-righteous and albeit a tad bit lame, but I’ll admit there was a moment in which I had to ogle over your profile picture and consider your companionship as a mate. A gal who scribbles a mean word and also sports a bit of an ego is okay in my book.

Wanna meet?

4) @ibc4 Ian Cummings

One-ninety plays one-eighty. Thirty seconds on the clock.

I buzz.

Everyone in the school looks at me, on stage, with the beautiful Alison, my partner in the Math quiz team.

I hear the question being asked but can only focus on her smile,.

My mind goes blank. This is so lame. The hate emanates from the audience.

“I must hurry you!” he barks, all ego and pomp.

Alison lays her hand on my leg. Oh. The heat of her palm. I melt beneath her gaze.

I take an age to speak; I’m wrong.

I’m crushed.

She withdraws her hand.

(And that’s it. Unfortunately, the last submission didn’t make the cut. They didn’t use enough words and didn’t provide enough info about themselves. I tried to get hold of them but alas, it was for naught. Sorry, peep.)

Big thanks to all you rockin writers — the MALE EGO post got a ton of hits & I’ve had great fun with your entries and tweets.

Please RT the holy you-know-what out of it, be inspired to run your own contest, and come back anytime to take A WALK IN THE SNARK with me.

My ebook, A WALK IN THE SNARK, drops soon — in the next week or so. Look for the link here or over on the Indie Book Collective site. Our Blog Tour De Force starts January 17 and anyone can participate — want to win a free Kindle or twelve free ebooks? Join in!

Follow me here, on Twitter, on Facebook, or anywhere pale snarky redheads are found. Ok, wait.

  1. 😀 Thanks a lot for the special mention in the contest! Have we analysed and deconstructed the male ego enough now? 😉


  2. Aughh! I missed! 🙂

    Kidding. Seriously, Rachel, you should enable Email Updates in Feedburner! I don't do RSS feeds (tried and tried but always forget to read them) But I love getting email interruptions. 🙂

    Seriously, good contest, though. Good contest. 🙂

  3. Yes, I second Berit's message. Thanks so much for the mention. This challenge was great fun.

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