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Fooling Yourself

November 19, 2010

Pleasing both male and female tastes can be next to impossible in many homes.


Shows, people. Movies. TV. Honestly.

One of the top rated shows in the U.S. right now for chicks is one that might cause me to actually go cook, for the entire hour, something slimy and disgusting that smells awful, rather than suffer through this tacky show. Come to think of it: isn’t watching this show kinda the same thing?

Dancing With The Stars No One Has Heard Of Except For Dubious Reasons and The Hustler (sorry, my bad: The Bachelor) are shows no sane person should have to sit through.

Sorry, ladies, but I’m with the guys on this one.


My sisters…what are you thinking? I’d rather sit through repeats of oh, heck…Hawaii 5-0 than watch that dreckitude.


Hold up, though. Let’s discuss that um, classic show for a sec, boys. How many times must you watch The Chin say “Book him, Danno?” It’s the same formulaic program: nice shots of Honolulu, a murder or robbery, some fancy running in tight pants, a car chase, a pretty girl in alarmingly scary blue eye shadow…and cut to shootout. Oh, and don’t forget the real star of the show: Jack Lord’s Hair.


Then there’s the Dirty Harry fascination. I get it. Young Clint (heck, even Middle-Aged Clint) was eye candy for us girls too, ya know. But, seriously. You’ve seen the movies at least twenty-five 125 times since you were a kid—you can pass by it this one time on a Sunday afternoon. You’ll live.

Come on guys—make our day.


And save the trivia: yes, we know Eastwood sang in Paint Your Wagon. (Trust me: he shouldn’t have.) Besides, it kinda spoils the whole fantasy aspect for us…I mean, if we’re being forced to watch young Clint and all… well, let’s just say it’s better that his mouth isn’t singing–if you know what I mean.


Oh, I’m sorry, guys–Clint may have lost a little of his appeal for you now that I put it that way. Oops.


Chicks want foreign films with subtitles; the only subtitles you agree to are Klingon. Chicks want well-written humor that makes us think and laugh; guys want slapstick Homer Simpson “Doh!” to laugh hysterically at hits to the nuts. Chicks want to discuss the show afterward in great detail; you just want some real food, dammit.


Is there a middle ground?


Sure. I’ll watch a great sci-fi: Star Wars, The Fifth Element, The Matrix (the first one only–please). My love of BladeRunner knows no bounds. Han Solo alone makes it worth my while, baby; though honestly everything about this movie is sexy: clothing, production, Vangelis’ gorgeous music, stylized violence, makeup; but the dialogue…oh my (okay, the Church of Baseball was another great one, and you can’t go wrong mixing sports and naked people with Susan Sarandon’s breasts…but I digress).


Deckard’s spare dialogue: great. Gaff’s final line: “It’s too bad she won’t live! But then again…who does?” full of philosophical meaning–fabulous. But Rutger Hauer’s replicant Roy Batty’s final words: “All those … moments will be lost in time, like tears… in rain. Time…to die,” reaches another level, beyond a good flick; it grabs through to your insides and touches your soul.

I hope to write words like that one day. Sigh.


Mindbottling. (Oh wait, Blades of Glory…sorry.)


Is there a way to find shows that will satisfy both of our unique desires? Some say technology brings us closer as a unit…but does it? Netflix and iTunes offers us ever more options to watch—and fight over. Just cause it’s November does not mean I want to watch Dreck the Halls, Christmas With The Stupids,  or anything resembling a man named Chevy and Vacation. Again. #ohgod #ithurts

As I stated in my original Mancode #1 post, Men are from Seinfeld, Women are from Friends, I remain unsure if the guys are better off just watching old reruns of Seinfeld, as they always do (everyday, 7pm), and we gals should just stick to Friends. Our men may love us (and annoy us, watching endless reruns of Seinfeld), but man, those Friends…could they BE any more there for us?


And okay, enough with that song already!

Ah, screw it. Let’s just turn on some music* and rock out.

*”Relax. Music,” are the first words to the Styx song Fooling Yourself (Angry Young Man).







What’s your ONE go to movie or show that satisfies both male and female interests in your home? Please share below. Limit one, please. (Giving in to please your mate in hopes of sex later doesn’t count.)




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7 Comments
  1. I suppose I am lucky, my does not like “Chick” movies. “The Terminator” series woks good for both of us, the action or me, and Arnold's butt for her.

  2. Indiana Jones all the way!

  3. We are with you on this Rachel – no dancing with the stars or bachelor for us… but we do love a good TJ Hooker marathon (bring on the CHEESE) and only indulge in “chick” flicks if they are on lifetime and we are really procrastinating #andhavegoodsnacks #welovelifetime (see this weeks Rant on the Bench for more info on what we don't like LOL)

  4. I'm lucky. We both like a lot of the same things, and we're as likely to watch a romantic comedy together as we are to watch blood and gore. I draw the line at most war movies, though. Can't stand seeing boys crying for their mamas because I have two boys…

    But the one go-to movie for both of us? Hands down, “The Fifth Element.” It's freaking “Die Hard” in space. How can you not love it? And love conquers all, and a little ancient Egypt, and cool freaking opera with a blue-skinned woman… Plus all those nice nods to other classic science fiction. It's awesome, beginning to end.

  5. One advantage to being single, I suppose – no fighting over what to watch. I love all the movies you mentioned that you love, especially Blade Runner.

  6. The Dark Knight satisfied us both.

  7. I think categorizing movies by gender is too limiting. Sure, guys are more likely to like movies that go BOOM and women will like something with a soaring score, but, honestly? I cried watching Lilo and Stitch when that vicious little alien was “alooonee” and just wanted family.

    A good film hits men and women differently but it's still a good film.

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