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September 24, 2009

Seriously, why are telephone operators such tools?

I suppose it’s the power trip they have…it’s just you, them, and the all-powerful providing of the listing–OR NOT. Kind of like they are the gatekeeper of the information you desperately seek and maybe they will or will not give it to you. I’m sure they are tiny little people who wear tiny little shoes.

Why am I slagging on the all powerful telephone operator today? Well, I’ve just HAD it with their snarky attitude, rude behavior, and it’s just time someone stood up and said NO MORE. That’s why. Oh, you mean specifically? Well, here’s why.

I have this stinky stink in the playroom…it’s not dried up mac n cheese or a sippy cup full of three-day old milk. Believe me, I have checked. We’ve had problems before with critters crawling up inside a wall and getting stuck and dying (we live close to the ocean and rats are, unfortunately, a problem that comes with the glorious territory–I know, shut up) and I can tell, it is the most awful, stinky rank smell, that something has gone six feet under in there. So, I went to call Rory, my Knight in Shining Exterminator Armor, and what was this? His number was not in my BlackBerry where it should have been. What was up with that? I imagine it’s because I usually call him in a silverfish panic or spider emergency, so my head was not in the calm, put Rory’s phone number in the BlackBerry where it belongs place that it should have been. So…

I call 411. Logical. “City and state, please.” Hmmm, know it’s called Western Exterminator. No idea the city. Obviously state is CA. So that’s what I say. Operator says, “Well, without that city MA’AM (first mistake…don’t MA’AM someone like they are an idiot when clearly said person is NOT) we can’t look up the listing.” Hmmm. “OK, how about a toll free number.” “Hold on, I’ll check….(one second later, no kidding) no, MA’AM, no listing.” “I’m sorry, I find that hard to believe. I know they are a major business with locations in several states. Could you” and the bitch CUTS ME OFF and says sarcastically “There’s no listing. Have a nice day.” and HANGS UP ON ME!

With jaw dropped open I march right over to my laptop, turn it on, and within seconds, SECONDS I tell you, I have the TOLL FREE NUMBER THAT DOESN’T EXIST for Western Exterminators in blazing yellow in front of me. Rory my Knight in Shining Exterminator Armor has been dispatched and will be here within the hour. On to task #2–yes, you guessed it–I call the telephone operator back and demand to speak to a supervisor…because Homey don’t play that.

Well, after much “Gee, I’m so sorrys” and “I don’t know whys” the supervisor finally just said “Ma’am (there it was AGAIN), there really is no toll-free listing (because clearly they work on Mars), we have no access to the Internet (gotta love that technology), so really all I can do is give you a one dollar credit to your account for your trouble. Thank you for calling.”

Wow, thanks. I feel SOOO much better now.

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