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Gosh golly darn gee–I didn’t know I was pregnant!

July 4, 2009

No not me family, so calm down. I was channel flipping the other night after the kids fell asleep and JP was working and nothing good was DVRd and I was trying to escape Michael Jackson TV on EVERY SINGLE CHANNEL so I ended up on TLC or something and I swear to God this woman (let’s call her DF–you figure it out) was talking about how she went into labor and had a baby and she didn’t even know she was pregnant! And she didn’t even seem to mind being taped about what a moron she was that she thought she was dying of an “attack of cancer or something.” OMG. Okay so this is her story:

She missed her period–twice. She actually took pregnancy tests–twice. She talked it over with her fiance and they both decided that it must just be stress. She didn’t want to spend any money on a doctor visit since she was uninsured and they were saving every penney for their upcoming wedding. She didn’t have ANY symptoms the whole nine months, save a little “gas.” She actually lost 15 pounds since she was dieting to look good in her bathing suit for the honeymoon. Her parents and fiance were proud of her weight loss, though no one could understand why her belly fat wasn’t going away. Her grandmother had died recently of “some kind of female cancer” so when she started having a painful attack “down there” nine months after the negative pregnancy tests, she thought she was dying–just like her grandmother since you know, cancers run in families, right?

When she got to the hospital, the nurse immediately recognized that DF was in labor and was fully dilated. When informed of this, DF cried out that no, she was actually dying of said cancer. Even when they hooked her up to the monitor and showed her the ultrasound, she insisted it was just a tumor. (Well, look at it this way. If you want to think of a kid as a tumor, as it IS a growth, feel free girlfriend. Knock yourself out. Ha ha–just kidding my darling children!) No doctors were apparently available quickly enough, so nursey delivered said child to DF with no pain meds–at this point I can empathize fully with her as to why she thought she was actually dying–and out comes a slimy, still baby. Scary moment, cue tense music. “OMG, is my baby okay?” DF cries…

And at that point I turned it off. I know, I suck. I just really didn’t care. I’m sure baby is fine and healthy. I’m sure TLC was just trying to educate people on how not to be sooo fucking stupid and if there’s even an inkling you might be knocked up, get thee to a doctor–at home tests are clearly not perfect. Got it. But what’s clearly most disturbing is that there are women out there that are just that clueless–we’ve all heard stories like this. She’s not the first story I’ve heard like this, she won’t be the last. She was college-educated even! But as JP always tells me–smart man–just because people are book smart doesn’t mean they have ANY common sense. Just look at how people drive around here! No common sense!

So I guess that’s what it all comes down to. If people used their brains instead of sitting on them, we’d all be a lot better off. CS people, CS.

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One Comment
  1. I saw this too! And me being 32 weeks pregnant I don't know how you can't not know you are pregnant!! It surprised me to no end that these women didn't even consider it or go to a free clinic to get tested!

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