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Karma is a bitch.

April 13, 2009

So I realized that I never really went into the whole drama of Barbie and Skipper with their twin BMWs next door. Hmmm…do I start with the fact that the mom is a divorcee and would leave her 15 year old daughter (now 16) home alone for weeks at a time while she vacationed with her Beverly Hills fiancee in the Caribbean? Well, not alone–I should amend that. She actually had plenty of guys over; maybe the same ones that helped her install the Carmen Elecktra Professional Stripper Pole…Ah, now that’s real class.

Oh, and the mom did make sure the daughter had a “nanny,” so Skipper wasn’t really alone…an 18-year old girl that smoked, blew said smoke at my kids out in the street where they were playing, cursed at them and made fun of them and oh, once tried to run over my little son and my sitter. (And mommy got just a tad touchy with us for calling the cops about that one. I can see why…imagine our nerve!)

Then there was the time that Barbie (the mom) went out of town (again) and the daughter’s unleashed pit bull puppy (oh, they’re just so damn cute, aren’t they!) chased Anya down our street and took a chunk out of her brand new Uggs. And then it would crap all over the street–and there said crap stayed. You see, Skipper doesn’t like to pick up doggie poo poo. Ooh, yucky! So when Barbie got home, JP and I made a neighborly visit over and asked if it was possible to a) keep the dog leashed and b) clean up the poo poo. Barbie was actually quite understanding and said sure, no problem keeping puppy leashed; she was a mom and understood how important it was to take good care of your kids. However, Skipper told her that she HAD cleaned up all the offending crap–could that possibly not be the case? Well, let me show you, I said sweetly. And there, in all it’s mounds of glory, were at least three crap visits. Shocked, she said, I am shocked. Skipper is really a good girl…I know it doesn’t seem so, what with the crazy blonde spiky hair, and guys over, and the smoking, and her skimpy clothes (uh-huh)…BUT she’s really a straight-A student and she’s such a good girl. If you ever want her to babysit?…

So, what else…Skipper totalled her car (I think it was actually her Mercedes that Daddy got for her when she turned 15) which of course was someone else’s fault. Oh, and I almost forgot! Parts of my sitter’s car were stolen and some of the guys that Skipper hung out with drove a similar car and suddenly appeared with new parts…all reported to the police. After many more dirty and threatening looks and uncomfortable situations, we had a $500 videocamera installed above our garage and added security drive-bys to our home security. Then things quieted down. Finally. With the exception of Barbie putting her nose up in the air when she walks the dog (without bags, I might add), or driving by and ignoring us, that’s the extent of our contact now.

AND THE DOOR! We painted our front door a pretty beachy blue…Barbie is the only one who sees it as it faces her side, not the front. Apparently after we asked her to keep the pit bull from eating our daughter, she decided that she hated our door and reported us to the association and we had to repaint the door. Now it’s a hunt club green, which seems fine with her but I hate. It’s so conformist. Ugh.

So what’s my point to all this? What’s the karma? Well, Barbie got dumped by her rich fiancee…and get this…Skipper is knocked up! Yup, 16 and pregnant. My heart has filled with glee. Trash begets trash and all that. Guess that stripper pole did it’s job. Go Carmen!

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