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Skeletons in the closet

January 17, 2009

My 9-yr old daughter is a funny little girl. She will not sleep in her room. Like ever. She will however sleep anywhere else. On a plane. In a car. (In the rain, going far. Am I the new Dr. Seuss? Uh, no). On our sofa. Last night she slept on our breakfast nook booth. Sometimes the floor of our playroom. (Rarely in our bed, thank God. We broke her of that habit long ago.) She will come in for a snuggle or a nightmare, like any normal kid, I guess. But what is up with the sleeping thing?

So I ask her, hey Anya, what is up with the sleeping thing? So she says, as only a 9-yr old can, that her room is like a cave (our bedrooms are downstairs, living areas upstairs) and she’s afraid skeletons will come up through the ground, like in the “Haunted Mansion” movie from Disney (another Eddie Murphy movie that you probably passed on, albeit smartly). Ah, those Disney folks, gotta luv em. Creators of joy and dreams throughout the world. So we had discussions about reality vs. fantasy, movies vs. life, etc. She says she gets all that, but don’t we bury people when they die, like, in the ground? Yes, dear, but not under our house. Oh, well, it still freaks me out. And in “Monsters, Inc.,” they came out of the closet and under the bed, so I’m afraid of that, too. Yes, darling, I say, but that’s a cartoon, borne out of some Disney animators’ creative minds, for little kids to laugh and see that really it is just silly, monsters aren’t real. Yea I get all that, I AM nine–but mom, she says, the closet! The bed!

Oh Jesus, I f-in give up. Sleep wherever you want, kid, just don’t bug me. I’m 45, I need my rest.

As my mom always reminds me, everything is “just a phase.” At least she (my daughter, not my mom) doesn’t wet the bed or use her pacifier anymore. I never thought she’d give that up either, so maybe there is hope. And my 3-year old sleeps in his bed (usually)–like a log, in a fog, without clogs (stop me, please!), just in time to write my blog! Dr. Seuss, out!
2 Comments
  1. bamandpoppa permalink

    Mom loves it! and I’m glad I haven’t reached the stage where I pee in bed. Not yet, but don’t forget, I did it then, I’ll do it again.

  2. you people are funny, my son’s nose is runny, and i love my honey.

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